Baseball and Cocoa Puffs

Chuck Klosterman, author of Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs, discusses potential sports scandals in his email exchange with The Sports Guy.

But I think there is a possibility of something even bigger: What if it turned out that an entire baseball season was scripted?

Like … let's say the nation was really depressed and troubled, and everyone became obsessed with alienation and despair. And let's say the government realized this was happening, so they decided to buoy the national spirit by secretly fabricating an incredible baseball season (the whole year — every single game). Some big, dumb white guy would hit 80 home runs; some unknown rookie from the inner city would hit safely in 60 straight games and bat .400; some aging beloved pitcher would throw 20 no-hitters. This would captivate the world, and America would forget its troubles and just embrace the National Pastime. We would all be able to feel good about something. Yet it would all be a mere construction; it would just be the government's way of distracting us from what was really going on. Reality would not exist as we know it.

Granted, this is unlikely. But it's not that different from trying to go to Mars.

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